The Movie 127 Hours is a true story of a young American adventurer, Aron Ralston who accidentally slips and gets stuck in a crevice and that too with a boulder crushing one of his hands. He initially tries to wriggle himself out of the situation but when all his efforts start to wither off, he basically starts filming himself thinking that the only available option is to wait for death. Well, he doesn’t give up and lo and behold literally dismembers his hand and somehow gets out of his ordeal. He hasn’t abandoned his passion of adventure and enjoys life doing what he always wanted, to live a life of his own choice.
Just like Aron, there are times when we also feel like we are stuck in a silo, hole, ditch, a situation. This can be a job, relationship or a situation where we feel helpless and are in a perpetual freeze mode. We have all been there so here’s a little set of tips to help you get out.
So imagine yourself falling in a ditch, what would be the order of things that you would do:
1. Make Sure that it really is a “Hole”: At times we get the best of our own negativity thus creating a false impression of a situation. We think that this is the worst company I could have ever worked for, this is the nastiest boss in the entire solar system, I wish I hadn’t moved to this city, How the hell did I ever get stuck with this person etc. I have had cases with colleagues working with me in a certain organization, they would whine like a rooster till the wee hours of the morning and complain about the boss as well as the wrong type of cockroaches in the kitchen sink, literally. To them, everything out “There” was better and fair. Once they left and with a lot of fanfare to the “There”, they realized that the grass was almost of the same complexion on the other side of the fence, just with a different set of animals. I got inundated with calls from them to somehow get them back to our side of the barn; it was a bit too late by then. This doesn’t mean that things would never be difficult or wrong in a situation. What I am trying to explain here is that we should be fully aware of our surroundings and the situation before concluding our current situation.
2. Try to immediately Stand Up: Once you are aware of the “Hole Situation”, do not sit and sulk, being depressed would not solve anything. If you have a craving to get depressed and feel sorry for yourself then avoid the temptation because this opportunity would keep recurring. Get into action and start thinking about a plan of action, writing a journal really helps a lot of people.
3. Yell: Ask for help, look around for friends, peers, relatives and speak to them regarding your current state. Even if it's a major loan, going and speaking to the experts is much better than sitting and blaming yourself for wrong decisions. There are always professional resources available to get you out of a situation. Andrew Carnegie’s book How to Win Friends and Influence People is a beautiful read with real-time stories about people who were in distress and they persevered and got out of their misery.
4. Use available tools and creative methods to survive: I always admired the quote that “ Its bad to do the wrong thing, Its good to do the right thing but its really ridiculous to just sit and do nothing”. Try to get by with the current situation by keeping your mind away from the challenge you are in. Divert your mind to your goal and the good days to come. Indulge in a certain hobby and again write as much as you can. You will be surprised to read these pages sometime later and laugh it off, trust me. Most of all, try to find someone whom you can confide in and share your situation. Trust me everyone in this world has baggage, it's just that some people carry it on their shoulders and others keep it on the back seat of their Mercedes.
5. Be Patient, Pray, Meditate, Give Charity: The famous Persian Sufi Phrase “This too Shall Pass” should be a powerful reminder to us that nothing is permanent. Everything including the Universe is in a spin and the tide of time changes the conditions. Have patience, it's a fast-depleting resource but hanging out with the right people would help you get re-energized. Pray, meditate or whatever else makes your mind off the situation. In the end, try the magical formula of giving out charity and that too by giving it directly to the affected, it would just change your perspective about life.
And most of all:
You can contact the author at masomo@eim.ae
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